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[07 Apr 2005|09:51pm] |
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soooooooo blah blah blah... i am still alive. i havent had a computer, and in that time life kinda sucked. lost friends that really meant a lot to me but yet i am repairing a friendship that was starting to go to ruins.
i miss being able to hang out with everyone, but i am trying my best to make time so let me know if you want to "chill" ;) OHHH i made governors school! yeah about the only good thing that has happened lately.
i know everyone is so depressed lately about all this random stuff so i know you dont want to hear this...but i know everyone feels this~~> nothing is ever good enough to just get that little glipse of recognition. you feel worthless at the worst, most hetic times. some things start to look up, and then not even a day goes by and you find out the most horrible news. i want to be noticed by the right person. i want that feeling of appreciation. I feel like i do so much to make people happy, and idk maybe i try to please too many people at one time, but i always end up making someone mad at me. sounds like there is a simple solution, choose the things/ people that are important to you right?! well i feel like every single person that i know has something to do with who i am, and when i lose their friendship i lose a part of myself. i wish there was a handbook of instructions on how to handle all of this crazy stuff.
SO i just would like to say, that i aprreciate every single one of you. you may have had a huge impact on who i am now or what i believe in and i want to thank you for that. thank you for making me realize the different options and different opinions that you are going to have to deal with in every day life. and if i just see you in passing every now and then, i want to thank you for that smile that you throw me in the hall. i may be having a horrible day, but to see that someone out there cares enough to recognize me means alot! i love you all
goodnight friends,
hannah
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[14 Feb 2005|04:48pm] |
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Ahhhh hahahaha yessssss that is exactly what i was aiming for! ; )...this past weekend was fun! and today was great! i honestly dont understand why people hate it so much...its a day for love notttttt hate!! i have to go to rehearsal, but i promise on my life that once my computer starts to work again i will update every day!
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[10 Feb 2005|07:35pm] |
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i love my friends! they make me smile...i had a better day today, for the most part! i really have to go do homework, but i promise when my computer starts to work again i will do great entries every day! lol...i just want to say thanks to the few people who help me get through each and every difficult day....
( my saviors )
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[04 Feb 2005|04:02pm] |
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hey kids! it has been awhile. i hope all is well with you!! things are pretty good here. I LOVE MS. P. this week was soo cool. i job shadowed ms.p on wednesday with chris and micaela which was awesome. i went to john montegomery's (sp?) which was soo awesome. I LOVE MS.P. and i also went to the p.a. library where i almost met my death by a file cabinet <333 right now i am at work (by myself) bc i forgot that we were closed this week so i am doing some extra work bc i am a good kid like that! I LOVE MS.P. after work i am heading up to raleigh and i am going to go to crabtree and get some shoes. then either head over to the game and then jon's house or just go to jon's house depending on what time i get back. I LOVE MS.P. i am excited for this weekend and i dont know why...
so in case you havent realized, I LOVE MS.P.~ life was so right when she was around. it sounds so weird but if you ever take just two seconds to think about it....were you ever in a situation that you stayed mad about for more than a few days...NO. ms.p. made all those things go away. even without trying she would make you see the good in everything (even when she yelled) she is the only person where i can walk into a room and without even seeing her expression i will know what mood she is in. its just weird and i miss her sooo much <3 :(
i am going to go work..like i should be doing but i just had to vent a few things first! have a great friday my love!
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[25 Jan 2005|07:04pm] |
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i am soo busy. i know its my fault for doing all this stuff, but seriously..i dont know what i could drop :\ yesterday was just the worst day ever. seriously. i cant even described it! my mom started yelling at me and just would NOT give up and i just absolutely hate when she gets that way!! then i had typ...i hate finding out that once you have already gotten a close to perfect image of someone in your head, they are NOT who you thought they were at all...ughhh. i am glad that at least one good thing happened last night...got a call!! <33 (thank you soo much!!) then today started off as not the best day. however i think i did well on my math exam...but we will see. and i would just like to say if it were not for my BESTEST BEST FRIEND EVER today would not have been the best day...I LOVE YOU MEGAN!!!!! <3333 oh look speak of the devil!! (its our gansta picture) i have to go do A TON of homework but i hope every one has a wonderful day!
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[23 Jan 2005|10:50pm] |
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I had a very good weekend, filled with lots of hanging out and sleeping <3. friday night i went to daves house, and watched people play some poker and then we watched some movie! i was soo freaking tired, i feel asleep soo many times. saturday i had a lesson planned but since it started feezing rain my mom didnt want to drive, so we cancelled. came home and slept bc i didnt really feel all that great and then around 7 i watched Paparazzi (sp?) with the family. when it first started i thought it was going to be bad, but it actually ended really well. then today was filled with homework, cleaning, practicing and then ended with a very delightful dinner with my family and hanging out with dave!! i had a a blast! we watched anchorman and played some basketball on playstation. dave and i actually kicked butt most of the time lol... hope every one had a magnificent weekend!! <3333
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[22 Jan 2005|02:03am] |
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im am soo tired..and SOME people are keeping me up..lol.<33 i WILL do a full update tomorrow! i swear! i hope everyone had a great day and pray for snow and daddy's! ( i love you iggy!)
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[19 Jan 2005|11:36pm] |
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only because i said i would update every day! IT SNOWED...NO SCHOOL TOMORROW.......GREAT DAY! the end! =)
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[18 Jan 2005|10:20pm] |
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So I *missed* first period today...during second we dicussed stuff about "Speak" that i didnt think was appropriate for our class, but i guess mrs. knall did soo unfortunately "IT" was discussed (and no i am not talking about sex you weirdo's :P) third was pretty cool. we listened to lots of chamber music and discussed it. then at the end of the period mrs. clayton checked her email and turned around from the computer (and with the most serious expression on her face) asked for me to come over and read the email. i was so nervous cause i knew it was something about all state and with that expression i didnt think it was good! so i read the first two words and then skipped to the line where it said "HANNAH WILL NOW BE IN THE SYMPHONIC ORCHESTRA!!!!" oh man i am so hapy and thankful for that!!
i got to spend time with three of the most wonderful people in the world today at lunch! it was me, megan, smidge, and maleah. some how we got on the subject of maleahs puupy and how we couldnt go see her bc then maleah would have to let her out. so suddenly i could see the light bulb go off above smidges head...and for what was said next, the stupidest comment of the day award goes to smidge. "does john michael have a phone in his room?"...maleah, "no?! why?"..."oh well i was just thinking we could call the dog and talk to her." omg and she was so serious too! lol love you smidge! then like the stupid people we are, we ate popsicles on our way back even tho it was below freezing..yeah we are just smart people like that.
fourth was ok...david is soooo freakin funny!! ( smart david comment about how we are seated, "hey hannah and amy, we are like an ut-oh-oreo hurr!" omg that kid is hilarious!) i really hope mrs. hatch doesnt move anyone in our row bc i love them all! it me, david, amy, and julie whom i must say is the coolest person ever!! i really hope she doesnt get moved! she helps me get through that class without illing some people! and i mean that in the nicest possible way!:D
after school i thought i had rehearsal but it turned out that i didnt so i came home and chilled for a little bit then headed out to coach r.c.o.. got home and was having a great night and then someone had to go and piss me off to no end! and i would just like to thank that person from the bottom of my heart, because you helped me see the real you and make me question why i even wasted five minutes of my time caring about you!
talked once again to my neda tortellini (sp?) and i love her to death! man how many times i have needed to talk to her lately! <33 love you girl! then i talked to dave, which was very nice indeed...but then he had to go eat his *dinner* which i call his midnight snack, bc they eat dinner around 945! crazy i know!
i hope everyone had a lovely day!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
~*hannah*~
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[17 Jan 2005|02:57pm] |
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so it has been a VERY crazy weekend! Friday was pretty awesome for the most part. Left school after second for the 130 governers rehearsal (muahahaha) with micalea,chris, and elizabeth. we thought for a sec that we were going to need pictures id's so we went to elizabeth's house and then to chris'. THEN WE WENT TO THE POWERHOUSE FOR LUNCH! i have never laughed soo hard! oh man <333 we then proceded to rehearsal..but since we were early we drove around the block a million and one times! once at rehearsal we were placed in the green room for about an hour, then mr. partridge began to explain our playing conditions. let me just say they were crazy!! we wound up rehearsing 4 out of 14 songs in four hours..yeah fun!
then saturday morning i had all-state auditions. i totally bombed my scales and sight-reading...but yes over all i thought i would be alright. then HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEKEND~~> neda comes up to me and asked me if i had heard that *coyboy* (david from all-state last year) was here..and i said no and started freaking out...cause the kid is soo cool and i havent seen him in forever. soo we start looking around and she keeps telling me that he is wearing a stud shirt and all...and we are searching and searching then all of the sudden a white shirt gets in my way and i look up and he is standing RIGHT there with the most blank look i have ever see his face! it was HILARIOUS!!! oh man laughed about that one allll the way home! then that night we had the goveerners inauguration thing..it was fun for the most part..its on tv if anyone wants to see it!! hahaha...nice close up of orch dorks faces!! i know you love that! anyways.......
sunday i slept in until 1130 then i went to jon's basketball game and dave's basketball game! let me just say that they bothwere doing awesome...but then they lost! it was very very sad! however i met both of their moms and they are soo awesome! <33 after that we went to ralph's and i didnt have any money so i wasnt going to get anything. then dave gets a call on his phone and its sam. he told dave that he left his wallet in the car and dave asked how much was in it and sam said a lot and then dave with out hesitating said alright bye and hung up! so the brings in sams money...and they buy shakes and ice cream with it! i felt horrible! but i do have to admit the cookies and cream shake was verryyy good! <33 next we raced home bc i had to babysit in like five minutes...
so i get there and they tell me that they would be home around 800. one thing led to another and i wound up hanging out with dave and jon after i was done. daves mom is sooo cool!! :P we watched Celtic Pride (i think) which was a really stupid movie but it was funny! and the whole time i kept getting a pillow thrown in my face by the one and only.. yes jon! he is the meanest person ever! (but in a joking megan type way!!) i had a blast!! went home around 1230 and fell asleep around 2.
had to get up at 715 this morning to go babysit! joy i know!! then around 1200 my mom calls me and tells me that i made all-state. so yes that was good, however she didnt know whether i made string or symphony. so after a whole shabang of trying to find out mrs. claytons number..i call her and she informs me that i made string (not the best considering i made second chair in that last year, so i expected to do better than that). so that brought me wayyy down! then i get home and i talk to my beloved megan and have a nice little chit-chat and got some things resolved! <33333333 X a million and 5!
neda then im's me with all-state results (score wise) and i notice that they gave me a freaking zero in one of my columns!! NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. (just to inform those who dont know..you have three columns (sight reading, scales, and prepaired) and in those are three numbeers given to you by the three judges) yeah so to make a long story short it shouldnt have been a zero..so with the right numbers put in i got moved up from 33rd to 18th!! yeah, so hopefully that is good enough for symphony but we will have to waut and see!!
SOOO along with the better news about all state and some others *things* (;P)my day actually turned out to be awesome! tonight i am going to go see meet the fockers with megan dave and jon! which is going to be great! hope everyone had a wonderful three day weekend and i love you soo much!!
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| i love megan and viony! |
[08 Jan 2005|12:48am] |
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im at viony's right now with megan! <3 we're just talking and eating and watching a movie. but today was really good. at lunch, me, maleah, megan, jon, dave, smidge, and aaron went to scholotskys. (sp) really fun. I'm embarrased to go anywhere with megan because her laugh is so loud. i swear everyone was watching us. haha. i went to megans after school and smidge picked us up and we went to panara where thomas, kyle, and dani were working. i made fun of thomas and he was having a bad day so i felt really bad! we went to target for a little and then went to the apex/cary game. i hate the refs. so unfair. it took me a while to catch on with the chants and stuff but its all good. i still had fun. i cant believe we lost. well if the refs didnt cheat, and if they were FAIR then we would have won. but we lost by like 4 points. it was so gay. and now we're here. i love these girls! <3
hope you have a great weekend!
**HANNAH**
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[02 Jan 2005|03:59pm] |
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Last night was sooo much fun. megan and i went to go see the chicken lights which was great! while we were driving through we saw these people who were getting out of their cars, and as we were aproaching the big tent we hear,"HEYYY HEY YOU WHOAAAA NO NO NO NOOO GET BACK IN YOUR CAR....." and megan and i turn around and there is this HUGE lady yelling and screaming at this people and chasing them with a flashlight. it was great <3...we got home and megan talked to her long lost best friends for a little bit and then we watched cinderella story! it was cute i will have to admit. then before we hit the sack we had a wonderful conversation(s) online...well lets just say interesting dosnt begin to sum it up! then we woke up this morning had a bagel got pics downloaded then she went home. played some halo 2 with my brother and now i am about to go take a shower so i can go out with megan again <3! i will get a couple pics from last night posted later! have a GGRRRReat day!
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[01 Jan 2005|02:51pm] |
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Whoa so new years was rocking! i went grocery shopping with megan then i went to carrabbas with my family and we watched a movie. around 9:45 i went to megan's and we hung out and took crazy pictures. we were watching the mtv new years eve special and we thought we had like 3 more minutes to midnight and all of a sudden they were doing the countdown. so we freaked out and ran to the tv trying to go along with the countdown. it was so fun. we took some more crazy pictures and watched wicker park. it was so freaking fun.
( and the ball drops at zero )
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[31 Dec 2004|03:46pm] |
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OMG these past two days have been soo awesome!! met some (very interesting) new people, and i am soo glad for that! I love meeting new people...Karissa and I had some very awesome experiences...from Macaroni Grill..thru two nights of umm...wicked awesomeness! well its new years eve...crazy isnt it?! last freakin day of 2004. wow. i had had a pretty awesome year for the most part, but next year will be sooo hott! and maybe i can keep new years resolutions this time! haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALEAH! WE MISS YOU!!!!!
Im out...going to go get ready for tonight! everyone be safe...and if you cant be safe be careful....and if you cant be careful NAME THE BABY AFTER MEEEE.. :P
~hannah
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| i.love.you.more.than.you.will.ever.know.and.its.only.hurting.me. |
[27 Dec 2004|09:36pm] |
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so i am back! nothing much, or important has happened lately. unfortunately. however its break and i.love.it.! i am excited to hang out with people! i am talking to so many old friends lately, its exciting! oh and i am going to be meeting new people over break which is also very exciting. i hope everyones christmas was very enjoyable! my christmas icluded an mp3 player, d&b purse, a forensics book, clothes, gift certificates, cds, jewelery, and more little stuff. mmhhmm yeah it was awesome! OH man i also saw the freakin funniest movie ever! yep you guessed it! napolean dynamite! oh man i loved it. normally i hate those retarded movies with no point to them but this one was awesome!
so i dislike sad entries...but yea. I am really scared of things not working out the way they are supposed to. you know how you have your life already planend out?! well what if i end up working at mcdonalds for the rest of my life and i never get married...yeah. its juat scary to think about. i mean my grades arent bad but they are nothing to brag about. so i might not get into a great college..ugh yeah. haa i am so retarded! hmm cheer me up and you win!! :P
have a GREAT night! love you times 29347510465238!
*`hannah`*
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| why?! |
[16 Nov 2004|12:06pm] |
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so i dont have my laptop...for a month! sucks so i am sneaking this entry in on the other computer. i just want to say that i am getting really disappointed in some people lately, including myself. i just do not know what to do. oh and i just want to say that i love neda sooo much because she definitely stuck by me last night and listened to me complain even though i was being totally irrational...but i just wanted to let you guys know whhy i havent updated and probably wont be updating for awhile. i love you all so much!
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[04 Nov 2004|08:47pm] |
Post a comment with a memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
Then post this in your journal.
See what people remember about you.
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[04 Nov 2004|08:36pm] |
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Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
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